


Fuck A Fake Smile

by yellowcloud



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, non-au, trixya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 08:29:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18687838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowcloud/pseuds/yellowcloud
Summary: Where it should have stopped, but where it actually ended up.  Trixie calls David by the wrong name in bed.





	Fuck A Fake Smile

**part one.**

"Hi, I'm Brian."

"I'm David."

And that's as far as it should've gone, but Brian is not smart and Brian is a fucking idiot and Brian is a scaredy cat and blah blah blah. It started there and it should have ended there, but here they are, a year later in the back of a club in the bathroom, pants around their ankles and Brian's face pushed against the stall's wall.  It's cold, metal, so it kind of takes him out of it and lets his mind wander, which, you really shouldn't be doing when you're fucking your boyfriend, but god forbid you actually be in love with him rather than imagining someone else (someone else's long, bony fingers, someone else's cock, someone else's voice...).

He says he's David, and he says he's Brian, and one thing leads to more things and more _thinks_ and then he's introducing David as his boyfriend. To everyone, like he _needs_ them to know he's taken. He pretends to not notice how it upset Katya, because if they were going to be together they would have done so a long fucking time ago...

David is nice enough. Honest enough. Sweet enough. Charming enough. There's _enough_ of him that Brian loves. He's just... enough.

"Fuck. _Fuck_ me, David," Brian demands, pushing his ass against David's dick in the hopes that it will grow two more inches and finally hit that sweet spot.  He's taller than David, he knows that, but fuck, this isn't their first rodeo.  David's slender fingers dig into Brian's hips, fingernails breaking the skin there and it finally hurts so fucking _good_ that Brian moans, lets his forehead knock against the stall. His breaths become breathier, become moans and he finally feels that rock in his stomach start to melt. He's sweating, bright blue eyes flashing behind his lids as he grabs his cock and tugs on it too hard. His balls are full and heavy, dick firm in his grasp and he doesn't let up, slams his hips back into Katya's so hard it almost hurts. He feels her teeth on his shoulder and he moans, punched from his stomach as his spine tightens.  Katya is slamming her hips into his, that big cock stroking every part of his insides and he feels like he might cry.

He's gonna come, and he lets Katya know by chanting it like a mantra.  She slaps his hand away from his dick and tugs it once, twice, thrice and he explodes, electricity shooting from his spine down to his toes.

It's a public restroom, but he can't help himself: he has to tell her, " _Fuuuuuckkkkatya_!"

Katya is still behind him, hand still on his cock, breathing heavily in time with Brian.

He feels her breath, hot against his ear and he turns his head to kiss her lips, but she stops him.

"Why the _**fuck**_ did you say Katya's name?"

It's in that exact moment that Brian even realizes what he's done.  Fuck.  FUCK.

"I-I-I really...  I'm-"

"Shut the fuck up, Brian." David pushes him away a little too roughly into the stall's wall, his cock scratching against his zipper and David's yanking out of him fast enough that it hurts, and he yelps.

"David, what the fuck!"

"No. Nope." David is shoving himself back into his jeans with no care, shirt wrinkled and jeans stained in various spots from lube and come. "You're a... I can't believe this. I can't believe after all this time, I just decided to ignore it. I'm a fucking asshole."

"David-"

" _Don't_... fucking touch me.  Do not touch me." David leaves, mumbling to himself and slamming the door behind him.

Brian is... in a state of shock, honestly, and his dick is even still twitching. He hadn't come that hard in, fuck, too long. Does he go after him, does he let him leave? What the fuck...

"You just gonna let him go?"

His ass is hanging out in a bathroom stall in the middle of a gay bar in Nebraska. What the fuck. He looks behind him and it's some rando, staring at his ass, but also looking concerned.

"I-"

"Don't mind me, just asking. Doesn't sound like you're gay if you're yelling women's names."

The guy walks out, cowboy boots clicking on the ground.   _Fuck_.

There is something about being left there with your dignity hanging out after calling your boyfriend by your best friend's name that leaves you, sort of, struggling to find out what your reality really is. He stuffs himself back into his pants after cleaning up as best he can, and he walks out of the bathroom on shaky legs.  His head hurts, his eyes hurt, he's still drunk, high off getting off, and he thinks he might be single... and when he really thinks about it, that makes him really fucking sad. David might be... David but look at where they are, look at where they've been! All around the fucking world together and it all ends because Brian really can't just settle?

Because Brian really can't just settle...

He scrubs a hand over his face and takes out his phone to call an Uber back to the hotel, which is probably what David already did.

It's 1:56am in Nebraska... and he wonders what time it is where Katya is.

Fuck. He can't tell her. He _can't_. She's Katya and she's handling her own shit and dealing with her own skeletons, so why the fuck would Brian barge in saying, "Happy Halloween!" holding his own?  God, his eyes hurt, and it looks like the world is spinning a little bit. He can't tell Katya so who can he tell?

"I would really only ever answer the phone for you at 3 in the god damn morning-"

"I said it."

"Said what?"

Brian hears shuffling in the background, Willam clearing a scratchy throat. Maybe he's sitting up in bed, reaching over to grab his glasses. Brian wishes he were here.

"David and I- I'm drunk." He pushes the heel of his palm against his eye. "I'm too drunk and I wasn't thinking and-"

"Trixie, calm down. Are you okay? Where are you?" It's the most sincerity Brian has ever heard from Willam's mouth, truly concerned about his friend. He doesn't feel like he deserves it.

"Nebraska."

"Okay, find someplace to sit down."  He doesn't so much as sit as he falls, but he's no longer upright, at least. Can't trip over his feet waiting for Lindsay in her black Nissan Altima who's six blocks away. "Are you sitting?"

Brian takes a deep breath. "I'm drunk, and David and I went to fuck in the bathroom, right?"

"Trixie, you-"

"No, shut up. We're fucking, and I- I called him Katya. I said Katya's name because I was imagining it was Katya."

"So you had a fantasy blur for a minute. Big deal? I've called Bruce the wrong name before."

"Ya, but did he ever break up with you because of it?"

Willam lets a silence linger between them before he sighs, too deeply but Brian is too drunk to try to decipher what it means. "Jesus, he actually broke up with you this time, huh?"

"Can you just tell me what the fuck you're talking about, please? Fuck, I need another drink."

He can hear Willam roll his eyes and get out of bed. "No, you don't. You're in love with Katya. Are we really doing this? Are we really having this conversation, like you don't alreadly know?"

A coffee machine starts dripping.

"I-I know that.  Of course I know that. I was going to propose to David. I have the fucking ring. His parents already said yes! And now - fuck! I'm really gonna have to explain this. Fuck."

"Trixie, you know you don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to. Stop being stupid."

Coffee cups clink in the background. Nebraska traffic in front of The Max, people shouting behind him as they file out of the bar...

"I've gotta go. I don't... I don't know what I'm talking about."

Brian hangs up before Willam has a chance to respond.

**Willam**  
don't do anything stupid, Tracy.  
call her if you're so paranoid! or call David.  
just don't do anything STUPID.

"Fuck you," he says to himself. Lindsay pulls up and he manages to get into the car without a problem. Is it even worth it to go back to the hotel? Will David be there, and if he is, will they fight? He's not ready for that. His ass still hurts and he doesn't wanna talk about this anymore, especially not with David.

The long walk from the elevator to his hotel room is almost enough to sober him up. It's opening the door and seeing David's tired, disheveled face staring back at him that really makes every ounce of alcohol leave his system. David's been crying. He doesn't even let Brian say anything before his face is scrunching up to cry and he's throwing himself into Brian's arms.

"Why?"

Brian sighs, heavily, and wraps his arms around David to console him. "Come on, let's go inside. These people don't need to know our business."

The door gets shut behind them and David just... cries. Trixie then notices the ring box on the bed. It's been opened, ribbon strewn about and the ring glinting in the light. Maybe that's why he's crying... or maybe it's because Brian is the world's biggest fucking asshole. They're in a weird limbo but Brian still cares about him, of course he's going to hold him, let him cry, let him figure out what the fuck he's feeling.

"I'm sorry, David. I..." I still want to marry you? I still want to be with you? What the fuck is he supposed to say?

"Don't," but he's tone is filled with defeat and not anger. "I knew. I've known. Of course I knew." He wipes the back of his hand across his cheek. "How could I not know? I just... I thought you were over it. I thought, after the show, and after... the texts, and everything... I thought you were over it. I found the ring. I would have said yes."

"And now?"

David rolls his eyes. "You're an asshole."

"I still love you, though."

"But you're not _in_ love with me. And I won't settle for anything less. I don't care how big your dick is. I have to leave, Brian. I can't do this."

Brian watches his whole world pack up and leave.

It's now 3am in Nebraska and David has his own hotel room, which leaves Brian to... do whatever the fuck he's gonna do. He calls Katya, but she doesn't answer.

Three days later he's back in LA. He hasn't heard from anyone remotely important to his mental health or wellbeing, so he goes inside and locks himself in. God forbid he take a break...


End file.
